Honestly, we were a mistake. You are the main reason why my life is as messed up as it is. You and I were nothing more than a waste of time and let’s face it everything was just a lie. Nothing more. We were nothing more!
He slams down his now empty glass and demands for another as her voice continues to echo through the walls of his mind. The bar tender, a middle-aged man wearing a tight black t-shirt begins to protest but is soon silenced by the mans deathly glare. Who was he to say when enough is enough? No, enough will be enough when his minds eyes go blind and her voice falls silent.
“So what’s bothering you bud? Girl problems?” The man behind the bar asked him drying a freshly cleaned glass.
“You have no Idea, I just need to drink my troubles away.” He replied with his words beginning to slur.
“Ah can’t be that bad, girlfriend?” The bar tender said.
“Fiance actually and it can be that bad, trust me.” He said raising his hand showing the metallic band around his finger.
“Congratulations, so what’s the girl you love like?” The bar tender inquired.
“The girl I love? Well let’s see.” He finished another drink before he began again. “She’s the color of happiness.”
“The color of happiness? That’s something I haven’t heard, what’s that?” The bar tender looked at him strangely.
“It’s the way she smiles after hearing you speak, the way her eyes grow wide as she extends her arms to grab the sunlight, the blissful waves of laughter coming out of her mouth, the scent of her skin on the sheets of the bed, the touch of her lips against your shoulder blades, the sight of her aimlessly gazing off into nothing and letting her mind wander, that is the color of happiness.” He looked past the bar tender now imagining what he was describing, his eyes told it all.
“When you describe her like that, well she must be some girl.”
“Oh, she’s worth it all. Well I think I’m done for the night.” He said. He left a few dollars on the counter and started towards the door.
“Goodnight, and be safe, if not for yourself at least for her.” The bar tender told him as he was leaving.
I’ve tried, okay, I’ve tried. I don’t know what more I could do. I guess we weren’t meant to be and I’m sorry. I’ve already spent too much time on you I don’t want to risk wasting anymore time.
She was swallowed in cotton, sprawled across the once cold bed letting the sadness drop from her eyes and heave out of her lungs. She meant everything she had said and to be honest, she didn’t know why she was crying. It just felt like the right thing to do. Plus the past memories that were flashing through her head were not helping the tears either. She was reliving the moments that took her breath away. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore and got out of the nest she had been wallowing in for the past two hours. She picked up her coat and grabbed a pack of Newports, she needed to calm her nerves outside.
She stepped out of the apartment complex and was able to see the sorrow escape from her mouth in the dark, cold air. Maybe the cold would numb her pain, she thought hitting up a cigarette from the half empty pack. A man walking down the sidewalk slowed his steps as she lit her cigarette, he stopped and asked, “Hey, can I bum a smoke?”
“….Sure, I don’t have many left so feel lucky.” She said jokingly hiding her pain holding the pack open for him to take one.
He put the cigarette in his mouth and lit it, “You live here too?”
“Yeah, with my fiance actually.” She answered.
“Oh, how lovely, so tell me then are you in love?” He asked.
“In love? I guess you could say that.” She said taking a moment to think about her answer.
“A dramatic pause, that’s reassuring, haha.” He joked with her. “C’mon what’s the guy like?”
“He’s wonderful really, he listens when I talk, he gives me surprises all the time for no reason, he looks great in a suit and just the sight of him makes me happy. He makes me happy and that’s all that matter I suppose. I honestly can say that he is everything to me.” She said.
“Well he’s got me and well any guy beat, good on ya for finding a man like that. They’re hard to find.” He said finishing the cigarette. “Well nice talking to ya and thanks for giving me the cigarette, I should go to sleep it’s already late enough, goodnight.”
“Yeah, and no problem it was my pleasure. Goodnight.” She said taking the last hit of the cigarette before it was done. She was getting cold and the cigarette didn’t ease enough nerves to stop the sadness. She walked back into the warm apartment building for the night.
He got to his room stumbling across the parking lot, putting the key to the door missing the lock a few times. After several attempts he put the key in the tan faded door, the lock almost coming out of the door as he turned the key. The door awkwardly swung open, anchored on to what was left of the copper hinges. The motel room looked liked a trap house that was recently raided, history indented in the bed, the bathroom door missing, lime accumulated all over the bathroom tiles and floor, a few shelves weren’t in the dresser against the urine yellow wall, flowers full of death sitting next to the T.V. from probably 1985. Her voice was stilling ringing in his head, he was too drunk to handle it now so he muffled his head in the musk stained pillow in the historic bed, the stench made him cringe in disgust. Slowly the fumes subsided and he passed out.
He woke up dripping in sweat to the last echoes of her voice as the door matched with the pounding in his head. He felt like he had only slept for ten seconds barely able to lift his eyelids he started for the door. Stumbling, still drunk he made his attempts to grip the handle. His hand, now missing the metallic touch against the skin, finally clutched the handle. As he opened the door a young female was on the other side wearing a smile and what he describes as the color of happiness.
Back in the apartment she just became consumed by all the memories sitting on the tables and hanging on the walls in frames. The faces starring back at her, as she sits on the white cloud of a couch trying to forget it all and pretend none of it bothered her. She couldn’t hold it back and began to cry and shoved her face into the first pillow she could find. The shade of the pillow turned darker becoming soaked in tears.
Suddenly a knock on the mahogany door that sent shivers down her spine. She jolted her head from the soaked burgundy pillow and stared down the door as if it were about to attack her. The pounding started again and she could see the door move rhythmically to it. She put her hands against the flesh of the door flinched when she went to open it. After a third knock she unfroze and opened the door to see that her everything was in a suit waiting on the other side.